I’ve Been Carrying the Curse for Redistribution

Describe one positive change you have made in your life.

When L❤️Ve is a Debt…

I have always been vocal about my dissatisfaction with the way I was raised. My siblings and I grew up in a household that lacked both financial stability and emotional support. While we did engage in family activities, the underlying emotions were often discordant. The fleeting moments of happiness could not overshadow the prevailing sadness, and even during the joyful times, we felt a sense of indebtedness.

One year, as a 15-year-old, I saved up over $1000 from babysitting all summer with the intention of buying a grandfather clock for my parents. I eagerly awaited the moment to order it from the JCPenney catalog, picturing its chestnut color and the sun and moon rotating with the hands. I was filled with excitement, imagining the recognition I would receive for this significant contribution. However, my parents needed the money to cover a bill and asked to borrow it, promising to repay me.

As Christmas approached, I grew eager to order the clock, only to be given a used 10-speed bike instead. While I was grateful for the gift, my joy faded when my dad revealed it was purchased for $25 at a yard sale, instead of repaying the money I had saved. This revelation made me reflect on my own parenting style, realizing that while I may not have taken money from my children, I may have inadvertently made them feel like they had to earn my love out of guilt.

This realization led me to understand that my children did not choose their circumstances, I chose to bring them into this world on my own, and they should not have to earn my affection. It has taken me this long to recognize that I owe my children a great deal of respect, and that I love them unconditionally. I acknowledge the mistake of perpetuating the cycle of behavior inherited from my parents and have decided to break free from this pattern. I hope I get that chance.

Never Look Back

Describe one positive change you have made in your life.

Yin and Yang basically mean that of a whole, when one side expands the other deflates. And it’s also true, think about it, that everything with a connotation has positive or negative opinion attached to it. For example, let’s say that a suffering person dies after battling a horrifying (opinion; because someone may think another is much worse) and prolonged illness. One person may focus on how terrible it would be to live in such agony for so long, alone, and miserable. Yet another, the children were in another country and needed to save money for the visit and burial arrangements; plus, they’d actually get to hug and say, “I love you,” one last time to each other. There’s always at least two answers to any question, usually with completely opposite outcomes. But how you’ve answered should never be doubted, for there is no going back.

You cannot change the past; continue and learn by living in the future.

I hated the gods for what I’d endured. But when I realized the changes that had happened by the life that I led, I knew there was no other way for me to learn as well.

“Making a mistake” is not the same thing as “failing.” A failure is the result of a wrong action, whereas a mistake usually is the wrong action. So, when you make a mistake, you can learn from it and fix it, whereas you can only learn from a failure.

by The Mind Tools Content Team