Describe one positive change you have made in your life.
I have always been vocal about my dissatisfaction with the way I was raised. My siblings and I grew up in a household that lacked both financial stability and emotional support. While we did engage in family activities, the underlying emotions were often discordant. The fleeting moments of happiness could not overshadow the prevailing sadness, and even during the joyful times, we felt a sense of indebtedness.
One year, as a 15-year-old, I saved up over $1000 from babysitting all summer with the intention of buying a grandfather clock for my parents. I eagerly awaited the moment to order it from the JCPenney catalog, picturing its chestnut color and the sun and moon rotating with the hands. I was filled with excitement, imagining the recognition I would receive for this significant contribution. However, my parents needed the money to cover a bill and asked to borrow it, promising to repay me.
As Christmas approached, I grew eager to order the clock, only to be given a used 10-speed bike instead. While I was grateful for the gift, my joy faded when my dad revealed it was purchased for $25 at a yard sale, instead of repaying the money I had saved. This revelation made me reflect on my own parenting style, realizing that while I may not have taken money from my children, I may have inadvertently made them feel like they had to earn my love out of guilt.
This realization led me to understand that my children did not choose their circumstances, I chose to bring them into this world on my own, and they should not have to earn my affection. It has taken me this long to recognize that I owe my children a great deal of respect, and that I love them unconditionally. I acknowledge the mistake of perpetuating the cycle of behavior inherited from my parents and have decided to break free from this pattern. I hope I get that chance.
Mother in the Jungle 